I am messy. And way too easy going about important things in life. When it comes to work I am incredibly devoted and can go above and beyond expectation. But in many other areas of life I can be messy. I can put things off until they can’t be put off any longer. I can forget from moment to moment to do things. I can come home from a long day of work and choose to neglect laundry or dishes or dinner. I can take the easy road when it comes to those sorts of things. My car is always a mess. Sort of like my thoughts. I can get lost in them. I can spend hours just thinking about life…
And I sort of like it there. Lost in my own head.
I am not perfect. I am not even close. I wasn’t born to be the perfect wife and mother. And I have spent a lot of years apologizing for that. I have spent a lot of years trying to be someone other than me.
And I am exhausted.