Who am I?

I am a little universe. Changing seasons like changing masks. Light and warm, sometimes cold. But I truly love the rain. Wet skin. Hair soaked. Clothes clinging tightly to a shivering body. Sunshine is good, but I also love the dark. And I feel most alive when the sun goes down. In this universe that is me, music is always playing…stormy days are for making love…empty space does not exist because stacks of books live there…mornings are a little brighter after a cup of coffee…office talk is better with hot tea.

  • Bluebird
    Bluebird, bluebird, on my windowsill… Sing me a song about sunshine and spring.  Bluebird, bluebird, on my windowsill… Sing me a song of remembering.  Oh little bluebird, with magic in your song Sing me a tune that tastes like Christmas morn Oh little bluebird, with fairy dust upon your wing Sing me a melody thatContinue reading “Bluebird”
  • No One Owes You Anything
    Here’s a thought: Your kids do not owe you anything. If you’ve done the hard work of raising them to the best of your ability, investing in their childhood lives, protecting them from harm (even from yourself at times), owning your failures, and making them feel loved, then you likely won’t have anything to worryContinue reading “No One Owes You Anything”
  • Hope
    What I want more than anything is for this world to be a kinder place. A more compassionate place. A more understanding place. Where hate and unkindness is not fashionable. Where love and empathy reigns. A world where every life that breathes in its surroundings is worthy of happiness and comfort. Where the word “illegal”Continue reading “Hope”
  • Happy Birthday, Shakespeare!
    As I spent the day working on my novel, and drawing anxiously closer to completing my first draft, it occurred to me that my main character is Hamletesque in so many ways. Now, it occurs to me how quickly I am becoming comfortable with making up words like Hamletesque. But it works. Though I hateContinue reading “Happy Birthday, Shakespeare!”
  • A Brief Reflection on Memories
    I was watching a home movie from my childhood, recently, and something my dad said has stayed with me for days, now. In the video, he was filming my bicycle in the front yard. He told the watchers of course whose bike it was. Then he said, “that’s my favorite person in the whole world.Continue reading “A Brief Reflection on Memories”
  • Frankenstein’s Monster
    Bukowski once said that drinking is a kind of suicide. Throwing yourself against a wall and sort of dying. But returning afterward. I think there’s merit in that thought. How many suicides do we attempt on a daily basis? We kill everything that is real and truthful, in about a million ways. We kill ourselvesContinue reading “Frankenstein’s Monster”
  • Happiness v. Joy
    What is the difference between happiness and joy? “That is an excellent question,” I said to one of my students recently when the question was posed. So, my class discussed a variety of ways to dissect these words and determine what they really mean. And then I left campus and drove home to my husband,Continue reading “Happiness v. Joy”
  • Who I am…
    I am messy. And way too easy going about important things in life. When it comes to work I am incredibly devoted and can go above and beyond expectation. But in many other areas of life I can be messy. I can put things off until they can’t be put off any longer. I canContinue reading “Who I am…”
  • Almost
    I often wake up in the middle of thoughts of you. Lingering from the night before. On those days, your memory consumes me. There is no logical reason why I hold on. There is no long list of ways you made me fall. There is no shortage of others that have come along that couldContinue reading “Almost”
  • Middle of the Week Musings…
    Too many people are afraid of any emotions that aren’t happiness. And that is unfortunate. It’s okay to have sad days. It’s okay to just feel blah sometimes, for no real explainable reason: Maybe it’s because we live in a world that is tragic. Maybe it’s because we are surrounded by people that promulgate hateContinue reading “Middle of the Week Musings…”
  • Conversations with Milton…& Maybe God
    In “Paradise Lost,” Milton’s rendering of the fall of mankind, we get a vision of Satan that is very interesting. He tells us, “Myself am Hell.” He also is capable of exiting hell (to make his way to Eden to tempt Adam & Eve), suggesting that he possesses the ability to leave hell. Why? WhyContinue reading “Conversations with Milton…& Maybe God”
  • End of Semester Musings…
    “To allow the powers that be to govern one’s sexuality is to remove something from the private sphere and make it public” (Me, 2015). Revisiting an old research project this morning has me thinking really intensely about our current social climate and the ways we perceive the world and people around us. I am alsoContinue reading “End of Semester Musings…”
  • This old desk. And me.
    Another sleepless night. I wonder why my mind won’t let my body get some rest. So here I sit. Thomas Tallis Scholars playing in the background. My first cup of coffee. Books. Paper. Pens. This old desk. And me. I bought this desk ten years ago. I thought I was so grown-up. Twenty-three years old.Continue reading “This old desk. And me.”
  • Holding On…And Letting Go
    You came to me once in a dream, and it was so real that I could feel the warmth of your body when I woke. My chest ached from the ragged breathing, my lip tender from the biting. And I could feel you all around me. As I laid in my bed in the earlyContinue reading “Holding On…And Letting Go”
  • A Poem: This Old Heart
    There is something in her eyes that drives this old heart wild Something in her voice that makes this old heart sing Something in her touch that holds me captive Something in her soul that’s paralyzing. She touches me in ways that I never knew existed Causing me to feel things that have no nameContinue reading “A Poem: This Old Heart”
  • A Poem: Goodbye
    She walked into the bar And sat down next to me. There was a tattoo on her thigh That I pretended not to see. She glossed her lips, lit a cigarette, Finally ordered a beer. And without an introduction She whispered, “let’s get out of here.” The night was young, the air was crisp, HerContinue reading “A Poem: Goodbye”
  • A Poem: Witchy Lover
    The way she walked into the room and laughed her wicked laugh… I knew almost at once that girl was witchcraft. The air was full of magic like some ancient melody, And that girl was quick to cast her spell on me. She batted her eyes, bit her lips, bent her head to the side,Continue reading “A Poem: Witchy Lover”
  • A Poem: Everywhere
    She was light when I needed light. She was darkness when I needed dark. And she came to me in dreams even when I was awake. There was fire in her touch. There was music in her laughter. And the moonlight in her veins was more than this old wolf’s heart could take. She wasContinue reading “A Poem: Everywhere”
  • A Poem: Anymore
    I recall her lying there, all broken on the bed, And oh how my heart ached at the thought of our goodbye. She looked at me and murmured the saddest words ever said, But in my heart I knew to go on would be a lie. I tried to find the words but just stoodContinue reading “A Poem: Anymore”
  • Hell: A Visible Darkness
    There is a dark place that exists…deep inside of us: perhaps in the heart, perhaps in the mind, perhaps in the soul. But it is a dark space that is a certain kind of hell. When something is weak, or broken, the darkness from that hell seems to find its way into the spaces inContinue reading “Hell: A Visible Darkness”
  • An excerpt from a book that I will never finish…
    It feels like a lifetime ago when I first met you. I suppose it was. A few lifetimes ago, perhaps. I don’t remember all of the details…was it daytime or nighttime? What was the day of the week? I do remember the navy blue shirt you wore. And the smile. Mostly, I remember that youContinue reading “An excerpt from a book that I will never finish…”
  • Literary Analysis: Ovid & Marlowe
    The Human Condition: Marlowe’s Relationship with Ovid in “Hero and Leander” Echoing the opening speech in his translation of Ovid’s Elegies, Christopher Marlowe’s “Hero and Leander” conveys that the human condition lies not in a rebirth of epic tales of war, but rather in epic tales involving innate human emotion, particularly when dealing with loveContinue reading “Literary Analysis: Ovid & Marlowe”
  • Chapter One
    I just loved him. There was no long list of perfections. He was no more of one thing than another. In fact, he was rather broken. And like all broken things, some pieces were large, some were small, and some would never fit back in the place from which they fell. To know him inContinue reading “Chapter One”
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